Summer Mist
by SerendipityAEY
Summary: Bill Fordham struggles with his decisions, his desires, and figuring out how to pick up the pieces of his life after the events in Osage County. He turns to an old friend for comfort.
1. Going Back

_AN: Picks up right after the movie, with glances to the past regarding the truth of Bill Fordham's indiscretions. My interpretation of Bill's love (and otherwise) life, with a romantic and compassionate twist. After everything that happened in the movie, that beautiful man needs a hug from someone that cares about him! I like to think so anyway :) Please let me know if you like!_

* * *

The sky was a deep, pitch black above Bill Fordham as he drove, a bit too fast, down the near-empty highway. Heavy clouds hid the stars and the half-moon, inking out any semblance of light and casting shadow upon dark shadow on the road below. It looked as though the skies could split open, pouring cold heavy rain down to the earth at any moment, but it had looked that way all afternoon and not a drop had yet fallen.

Bill sighed, scrubbing his hand across his bearded jaw, then raking his fingers through his hair. Weary, he propped his elbow on the car door and leaned his head heavily on his hand, his fingers rubbing at his temple.

In an effort to pass the time, his thoughts drifted invariably to his destination, and the woman that waited there.

* * *

A new semester was beginning. Bill Fordham had the distinct impression that he enjoyed it more than most, but he always had, even as a student. He loved learning, teaching, _knowing,_ and he loved his job. Barbara always complained, grumpy and dreadful on the first day. Every day after as well, come to think of it.

But he was in good spirits - nothing would drag him down today and he walked into his first class smiling and introducing himself to the newest batch of grad students. He outlined his syllabus, summarized the importance of his required reading and dove into the course material.

Bill didn't particularly notice the young woman with long dark hair and shining eyes in the back corner of the room. Not the first class, or the second, but he would.

* * *

Well into the fourth week everything had changed. Bill walked into his first class of the day hardly functioning, with a dark disposition. He had fought with Barb that morning, and it hadn't been pretty. She was a dirty fighter. He'd always known that, but he wasn't sure how much more he could take.

Thankfully, he had a project set for the students to begin work on so he wouldn't have to lecture for long. His mind was a jumble, and he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

As soon as he'd sat down, intent on getting some grading out of the way to help relieve his stress, _of course_, a student interrupted him.

With a frown, he looked up, but was surprised at who it was. She had not spoken to him, or in class, yet. Sadie...Colson, he thought.

She smiled, and he found himself returning it before he could he could help it.

"I wanted to turn in my paper," she explained, handing him what looked like a short novel.

"The paper isn't due until next Monday, Miss Colson." He accepted the paper but furrowed his brow, and she flushed, her cheeks pinkening. The sight was...becoming. It flustered him, but he managed not to show it, he thought.

"I - I know. I'm sorry. I'll have to miss class on Monday, my father is having surgery."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"He'll be alright." She smiled again, bright and genuine, though the blush stayed on her cheeks, and he wondered if he made her nervous. After a moment he realized he was staring - _she was beautiful with that blush_ - and he cleared his throat hastily.

"Good to know," he managed.

"I _am_ sorry I have to miss class, I know it's terribly negligent of me, but my father has no one else, and the surgery can't wait - "

"It's quite alright, I - " He almost offered to meet with her when she returned but he stopped himself before he could utter the words, and he knew exactly why even if he wouldn't like to admit it out loud. "I'm sure you'll catch up in no time at all," he said instead.

She nodded and returned to her seat. Bill took a long, slow breath. He felt better.

* * *

After that, she spoke more in class, she asked questions...always greeted him and left him with a sweet smile. He thought about her often. Bill tried to remind himself each day as his interest piqued more and more that it was only an intellectual notice, but the days grew longer and the distance between him and his wife grew wider. And his thoughts about Sadie Colson began to increase.

Just before the summer he and Barb decided to separate and he found himself on the couch and avoiding home at all costs until he found a place of his own.

In the middle of finals week, he was in the deli on campus getting lunch. It was crowded, and he was about to ask for his sandwich to go when he spotted Sadie at a small table by the window. She smiled at him, a luminous joyful grin and waved him over. She was shuffling her papers and moving books before he could even register what had happened. It wasn't a good idea. He knew there was a part of him - a part of him that wanted her. But he couldn't decline.

The conversation between them came so easily an hour had passed before he'd even noticed. She ordered another coffee and he figured he might as well do the same. He hadn't felt this sane in months.

"So have you read my paper yet?" she asked with a smile, stirring cream into her coffee.

He grinned back. "I've started it, yes. Quite decent so far, I have to say, but you'll have to wait like everyone else."

She laughed, and then they were quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "Finals are so stressful," she sighed, "so much pressure. I suppose it's stressful for professors as well."

"It's a lot, that's true. And we want you to do well."

Sadie nodded, looking at him with an expression he couldn't quite read. "You seem...you've been," she paused, "melancholy, for the past week or so."

"Ah." Bill looked away, out the window. He hadn't spoken to anyone about his home life and he realized it was weighing on him. It probably wasn't a prudent subject to discuss with a student. But she wouldn't be a student much longer.

"I'm sorry you've noticed," he finally answered. "I - My wife and I have separated."

Sadie frowned. "I'm sorry. That must be very hard."

"It's been difficult, yes. But I think it's for the best."

She took a slow sip of coffee and he did the same.

"Well, I miss your smile," she teased.

He gave a mock smile, flashing his teeth.

"Nice try," she laughed, and he had to chuckle. "I'll have to take you to dinner. When the semester is over. You deserve to have something...nice."

Her eyes glittered, and he wanted to say yes very, very badly.

"We can't do that," he smiled. "It will look as though you're trying to bribe me to raise your grade."

Sadie laughed. "How about...if I have a 90 percent or higher, I'll pay, and if it's any lower, you can. Then it will be clear."

"Well now you've told me that," he argued, "it will seem as though I've given you a higher grade just to get dinner."

"Fine!" Sadie laughed again, throwing her napkin down. "We'll split the check, fair and square, just friends."

He wanted to say yes, he did.

"I really shouldn't have dinner with a student."

"It's just food." She gave him a mischievous smirk that made his stomach clench. "You have to eat, don't you? In a week I won't be your student any longer."

_Where was this coming from? She was quiet. Shy. She blushed when he called on her...unless it wasn't from embarrassment..._

Sadie leaned closer, lowering her voice. "So, deal? Yes?"

He wanted to. But he couldn't.

_No._

Bill caught her hopeful gaze and smiled at her. "Yes."

* * *

The tiny bottle of perfume spritzer almost tipped over as Sadie reached for it without looking, her eyes focused on her image in the mirror as she fretted on whether to wear her hair up or down.

It was true, at first, she'd been attracted to Bill Fordham purely on a physical basis and she thought little of it, beyond sitting in the back of the class and having something quite pleasant to look at while she worked to reach her academic goals.

But then she'd spoken to him, and something in his eyes had spoken to _her_.

It was ridiculous, she'd never been the romantic type, not in the least but she knew she was drawn to him in mind and body.

Now she had a date. A dinner, between friends. A start...

Though he resisted anything more than that their first night - he wouldn't even step up on to her porch when he took her home - she could see in his warm blue gaze he wanted her. That start quickly led to much more.

And it was wonderful. The most wonderful thing she'd ever had. It was easy for her to think such things, but not for him. She knew - she knew the things people would say about him, _sleeping_ with a_ student_, though she was no longer and would never be again. She knew they would say it was a mid-life crisis, that he was a philandering son of a bitch, a desperate, sex-craving adulterer.

It wasn't true. Was the world so cynical and angry it couldn't simply accept a meaningful connection between two people at an inopportune time?

Fuck them all. She didn't care, but she felt bad for him, and rightfully so...

As quickly as their relationship had ignited, he was cautiously stamping it out again.

It was his prerogative, he was a married man after all and she had made her own bed. She just hadn't expected to care so deeply for him so quickly. He cared for her too, he'd said, but he had to give his marriage one last chance. She shattered her favorite picture frame to pieces when she'd thrown her heel across the room after she went back home, alone.

Sadie had no one to hold her that night while she cried. She hoped he did.


	2. Coming Home

When Sadie had moved away, not long after she had finished grad school, Bill had been relieved - grateful - to have such a sweet temptation removed from his life...or at least kept at arms length while he tried to work out the mess that was his marriage.

Though him and his wife had decided to separate, there was a part of him that had still _wanted_ to love Barb, _wanted_ to make their marriage work. But he had quickly come to the uncomfortable conclusion that perhaps the problem was no longer fixable, and nothing he could do would ever change them. They had struggled for a long time. Perhaps too long.

Then Bev had gone missing, and he had thought only of being there for his wife.

But she seemed to think of little else except her own anger.

Filling his chest with another deep breath, Bill let it out slowly, checking the clock on his dashboard and calculating how much longer until he reached his destination.

Now...now he wished Sadie did not live quite so far away. It was only a forty minute drive, but it was late, and he was so so tired.

His marriage was over. Really over. Completely over. Bill didn't think he had truly even seen that until Barb herself had spoken those words on the dusty old porch of her spiteful, hate-filled childhood home. She had always had a way of seeing things in a harsh, biting clarity before he ever could.

Then she'd sent him off with their hurting daughter and the expression she knew was guaranteed to shred his heart - her own special brand of scorn mixed with hurt and disdain. As if he had purposely done something to cause her a grievous wound and she both hated him and pitied him for his unforgivable idiocy.

The truth was he had never wanted to hurt her, never meant to. But one could only be pushed so many times... Even if she would never see it. He had tried all he could.

He did regain a modicum hope, for Jean at least, when to his surprise, Barb had shown up at his place back in Colorado not even a day after he had left with their daughter. After an apology to Jean, and a long hug (and not a word to him) Jean had agreed to go back home with her mother.

Bill was grateful for that. He did not think he could bear for Barb to loose her, as well. Not now. They had a bond; Barb loved her daughter even if she had no idea how to show it. He desperately hoped they would find some way to work it out.

So finally he was alone again. It felt odd after so many days with drama and heartbreak and chaos, to sit in comfort and peace, alone with his own mind. He felt uncomfortable, empty and unsure.

And he thought of her. The woman he'd met two years ago, a grad student in one of his classes. Bright and quick to smile. Beautiful and happy. But almost 19 years younger than himself. For a long time he'd resisted, avoided her completely if he had too. He hated that cliche of a mid-life crisis, but she had never seemed to care at all.

Bill spent more than an hour arguing with himself, hating himself and them forgiving himself, picking up his phone and then setting it back down. He knew he was not without blame. He hadn't cheated on Barb, not physically, not before they separated, but he had thought about it. Then he had used his time with Sadie to escape his problems. He _had_ used her, no matter how much he liked her or how honest his intentions were, to ease his own pain.

Home alone now, truly all alone, he found himself only able to think of her. The way she kissed him like she didn't mind if she never breathed again. The way she wrapped her arms around him like nothing could ever make her let go. And the way she had looked, nodding with a forced, watery smile, as he told her he wanted to try and make his marriage work one more time.

If he was going to make it right, make_ something_ right, now was his chance, and he didn't want to sit and let it pass him by if there was any hope.

Sadie was good, and kind. She deserved an honest conversation and he wanted nothing more than just to be with her, in her arms right now.

* * *

When Bill pulled up, the little house was dark except for the flickering light on the porch. He parked on the opposite side of the quiet street and locked his car. It was late, almost midnight. She knew he was coming, so he knew she was up, probably in her kitchen.

Bill went through the gate at the side of the house so he could circle around the back. A path he'd taken once or twice before, but it felt different this time. Dim yellow light spilled from the windows in the back to the yard, and he rapped lightly on the back door to the kitchen before opening it quietly.

Sadie looked up from a magazine on the table as he came in, her eyes lighting and he felt his heart thud hard in his chest as if starting to repair at the mere sight of her. "Hello."

"Hey." She smiled, standing to hug him, and then turned to the stove. "Let me make some tea, yeah?"

"Sure." He sat down at her table and he watched her as she stood on her tip toes to pull a pan from the cupboard and then set some water to boil. Her feet were bare, her legs bare beneath a pair of cotton shorts. She had a worn tank top on, her favorite he remembered, and a button down shirt over that. It hung off her shoulders, too large for her and he realized it was one of his. He wanted to curl his fingers around the loose edges, pull her to him and strip the shirt off her. Haul her into his lap and never let go.

But he owed her more than that, so he kept the tempting thought to himself, for now, taking a seat at her table.

When she'd turned the stove on, she faced him, studying him for a moment before she spoke. She leaned against the counter. "How'd it go?"

"Oh Sade," he sighed heavily, rubbing his eyes. "It was an absolute nightmare. Bev is - Bev is gone. And it's over. For good."

He'd dropped his head to his hands overwhelmed with the weight of emotion, but he heard her take a step toward him and he looked up again to see her. The light in the room was dim and soft, but it made her skin glow. Her long brown hair was tied back, swept over one shoulder and he longed to bury his face in it but he didn't know if the gesture would be welcome.

Still, her soft brown eyes sparked with sympathy, and she reached for him. "I'm so sorry, Bill. I'm sorry. I know what your family means to you."

They were family, even if his marriage was over, and he cared about them all. The relief of her understanding of this was like a breath of fresh air when he'd been trapped under water for so long.

Sadie ran her fingers through his hair and Bill gave in to every emotion he was feeling, accepting them. She was standing right in front of him now and he reached for her, his hands sliding around her hips as she moved closer.

Slowly he closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to her stomach just below her breasts and she cradled him, running her hands over his shoulders and through his hair and he breathed, slow measured breaths, willing the stress and chaos to dissipate from within the comfort of her arms.

They stayed like that for a long while.

"Sadie," he finally murmured, shifting to wrap his arms tightly around her waist "I'm sorry."

He was. And he wanted to make it up to her.


End file.
